Q: How can I
find out what gifts people really want?
A: That depends
on the people. Some are very forthcoming—going so far as to supply
lists of wants complete with model numbers and store names. Others
think it's bad manners to express their wants in any way and might
need some persuading. You might suggest the recipient carelessly
leave a wish list somewhere you could stumble upon it. Or get to
know your recipient's preferences by window shopping with him,
looking through magazines and catalogs together, or getting
"insider" information from his friends and family. Also, watch for
subtle hints.
Q: What is the
proper response when someone asks what you want for Christmas, a
birthday, or any other occasion?
A: When it
comes to getting presents, we all want the same thing—gifts that
reveal how well we are known by the giver. So telling what we want
is like spoiling our own surprise. Surprise, after all, is a key
component of the perfect gift. The best gifts catch us a little off
guard. They bring a smile to our lips or a lump to our throat. They
evoke memories, stir sentiments, and create bonds.
But not all
givers are willing to spend the time and thought necessary to
produce such gifts. Which means you should probably brace yourself
for the inevitable question, “What do you want?”
Perhaps the best
answer to this inquiry is, “Surprise me!” This puts the ball back
in the giver’s court, where it belongs. If pressed, gently guide the
giver by offering subtle hints or admitting to reserved preferences.
“You know I have a weakness for chocolate.” Or, “I always love a
good book.” Just keep in mind that such remarks as, “I could use a
new car,” or, “I would love to see the world,” probably will not be
considered amusing or helpful.
Q: How may I
suggest to my friends and family I prefer to receive gifts of cash?
A: You may not.
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