For
obvious reasons, there are some gifts that should never be given—a
scale to the wife who no longer fits in her wedding dress or a
"little something" to your secretary from the lingerie
catalog. On second thought, considering the number of such gifts that
are received, maybe the reasons are not so obvious—so we've pointed
out a few of them below. For gifts you should never give in the work
place, see Business Gift Taboos in the section titled Business Gifts.
animals
Animals require a considerable amount of care and expense. To give a pet
without consulting a child's parents or being certain of an adult's
wishes might be a major imposition on the recipient's time and finances.
how
low can you go?
Do not give gifts beneath the recipient's standards.
For example, just because you can't tell the difference between the kind
of pottery she favors and factory imitations does not mean the shoddy
imposter will find a place in her collection.
hint,
hint
Do not give gifts that hint of self improvement or change on
the recipient's part. A treadmill to the couch potato or time management
classes to the unorganized will not evoke gushing thanks, even if such
items are—in the giver's eyes—exactly what the recipient needs.
one
for all
Do not disguise an item intended for family or group use as a
gift to an individual. "Hey Dad . . . here's the boat you've always
wanted . . . . I dibs it for Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Labor
Day . . . . John has planned an outing with dozens of friends near the
end of July . . . . and Uncle Alexander has asked to use it for the
family reunion during the third week in August."
gimme,
gimme
Do not give gifts you hope to "inherit" from the
recipient. These gifts speak loudly and clearly. They say such things
as, "When you are no longer interested in golf, you can pass these
great clubs on to me," or "Oh, silly me, I forgot you look
dreadful in this color. I'll just have to keep it for myself."
no
assembly required
Do not give gifts that require maintenance,
assembly, or installation the recipient is not able or willing to
perform—unless, of course, you are willing to do it yourself. You
wouldn't think of giving a young child an unassembled bicycle, so why
leave Grandma's bookshelf in the box marked "assembly
required?"
politically
incorrect
Do not give gifts prohibited by the recipient's ethnic,
moral, religious, political, or other personal beliefs. Such gifts as
liquor to a teetotaler, fur to the animal activist, or a Hanukkah
present wrapped in Christmas paper are in poor taste. These gifts
indicate a lack of knowledge about and sensitivity toward the gift
recipient.
there
is a season
Do not give seasonal gifts out of season. Snow skis in
March or water skis in October do not have the effect of snow skis in
October or water skis in March. If you purchase something at an
end-of-season sale, stash it away to give at a more appropriate time
(unless you're sure the recipient wants it right away).
clean
up your act
In general, do not give Mom a vacuum cleaner (or
anything like unto it). While men prefer practical—and sometimes even
utilitarian gifts—women generally give such gifts a big thumbs down.
Besides, do you really want to be remembered by Mom every time she
cleans up your messes? If you really want to lighten her workload,
present her with a cleaning service. If you really want to give her a
vacuum cleaner, go ahead. Just don't make a gift of it.
Want to see where
you can find additional
gift ideas?
Have
any gift ideas you'd like
to share?